Jewelry Blog

What To Say At The Proposal?

Guy Proposing to Girl in Sunset

The marriage proposal is the most nerve-wracking and exciting moment in any man’s life. But what do you say? What do you not say? How long should it be? Should you wing it or not?

Bejamin Khordipour (author, lecturer, and jewelry celebrity) answers all these questions in this article.

What is the Proposal Speech?

The proposal speech is a short speech informing your future spouse of your intention to marry her and explaining the reasons she should agree to marry you. It typically lasts under two minutes and is prepared in advance.

There are three key parts of a proposal speech:

  1. Introduction: Start with a personal touch, mentioning the partner’s name and expressing love. Try to make it clear straight away where the speech is heading.
  2. Reflections on the Relationship: Share memorable moments and experiences shaping the relationship.
  3. Your Intentions: Ask the partner to marry, usually ending with the question, “Will you marry me?”

What to Say at the Proposal?

Crafting a proposal speech involves heartfelt expressions, personal anecdotes, and a clear declaration of your commitment. Here are three examples for each key section to inspire your own speech:

Part 1: Intro to Proposal Speech

Example 1: “Sarah, every day with you has been an adventure filled with love and laughter. I knew from our first date that you were someone incredibly special.”

Example 2: “Rebecca, from the moment our paths crossed, my life has been filled with more happiness and joy than I ever thought possible.”

Example 3: “Jessica, being with you has made me realize what true love and companionship mean. You complete me in ways I never imagined.”

Part 2: Memorable Moments

Example 1: “I remember the night we stayed up talking until sunrise, sharing our dreams and fears. That was the moment I knew I wanted to spend my life with you.”

Example 2: “Our trip to Paris was unforgettable, not just because of the beautiful sights, but because I got to experience it all with you by my side.”

Example 3: “I’ll never forget the day we moved into our first apartment together. It was chaotic and crazy, but it was the start of our beautiful journey together.”

Part 3: Why You Love Them

Example 1: “I love your kindness and how you always think of others before yourself. Your heart is as beautiful as your smile.”

Example 2: “Your passion for life and your ability to find joy in the smallest things inspire me every day. You make me want to be a better person.”

Example 3: “I love how you support and believe in me, even when I doubt myself. You have a way of making me feel like I can conquer the world.”

Part 4: Future Aspirations

Example 1: “I can’t wait to build a life with you, filled with love, laughter, and endless adventures. I want to grow old with you by my side.”

Example 2: “I dream of a future where we create a home filled with warmth and happiness, where we raise a family and make countless memories together.”

Example 3: “Together, I believe we can achieve anything. I look forward to supporting each other’s dreams and creating a beautiful life together.”

Part 5: The Proposal

Example 1: “Sarah, you are my best friend, my confidant, and the love of my life. Will you marry me?”

Example 2: “Rebecca, being with you has been the greatest joy of my life. Will you make me the happiest person in the world and marry me?”

Example 3: “Jessica, I can’t imagine my life without you. Will you spend the rest of your life with me and be my partner forever?”

What You Shouldn’t Say at a Proposal?

A couple holding each other and enjoying the sunset after the proposal.

If you follow our advice above, you should be able to prevent a wonderful moment from turning into a train wreck. She will understand if you stumble a little, but there are still things it’s probably unwise to include in your proposal.

Here are some key tips on what to avoid saying during your proposal:

  1. Avoid negative remarks, even as a joke. (Focus on positives)
  2. Avoid comparing to past relationships. (This is obvious, but unfortunately, it needs to be said)
  3. Avoid ambiguity. (Be clear and direct)
  4. Avoid jokes or sarcasm. (This doesn’t apply to everyone. Some should do jokes, others not. Sarcasm, though, should be avoided by everyone.)
  5. Avoid focusing on materialistic aspects. (Highlight love)
  6. Avoid talking about the proposal’s cost or planning effort. (It’s tacky)
  7. Avoid pressuring language. (Ensure genuine desire)
  8. Avoid long-winded stories. (Be concise)
  9. Avoid mentioning your doubts. (Show confidence)
  10. Avoid conditional statements. (Express commitment)

How Long Should the Proposal Speech Take?

A man and a woman looking at and holding each other lovingly.

If we had to give a time limit, we would recommend anywhere between 1 minute and 4 minutes. The ideal amount should be 2 minutes.

Here’s the one rule: Shorter is better when giving the actual proposal speech. You’re probably doing something wrong if you’re still talking after 5 minutes.

Once the proposal is over, feel free to talk for as long as you want. However, it is usually not advised to keep her (and everyone else) in suspense.

Important Note: Some people don’t like giving speeches. That’s perfectly acceptable. There is no obligation to give a whole proposal speech. All you need to do is ask, “Will you marry me?”

Prepared Proposal vs. Spontaneous Proposal

Some argue that the proposal shouldn’t be prepared and should be spontaneous. We don’t agree, but we hear the argument. Here are the arguments for each side.

Prepared Speech AdvantagesSpontaneous Speech Advantages
ConfidenceEnsures confidence, reduces nervesFeels genuine and natural
ClarityWell-structured and coherentAuthentic and from the heart
Memorable DetailsCan include specific, meaningful anecdotes and quotesCaptures the raw emotions of the moment
PersonalizationAllows for thoughtful and personalized touchesReflects true, in-the-moment feelings
Emotion ManagementHelps manage overwhelming emotionsEmotions come across as genuine and powerful
ControlGreater control over the message and deliveryFlexible and adaptable to the situation
Special ElementsCan incorporate planned surprises or significant referencesTakes advantage of the current atmosphere and spontaneity
ExecutionReduces the risk of forgetting important pointsSpontaneity can create a sense of adventure
Speech QualityHeartfelt and eloquentRaw and impactful delivery
PreparednessShows forethought and commitmentDemonstrates sincerity and authenticity

In the same way that some people can cook a gourmet dinner without skipping a beat, so some people are good with words. For the rest of us, planning is the order of the day. It takes a certain flair to say the right words without giving the subject some serious thought. Add the nerves of a once-in-a-lifetime proposal, and the internal tension is off the scale for a lot of people. Even the coolest, most articulate of us would be challenged in such a situation.

Important Note: Also, having the proposal all planned out properly will help your speech run smoothly.

Hiding Your Emotions for Suprise Proposal

The aim is to be completely natural. In this instance, surprise is your friend. It doesn’t matter how ready she may think she is for you to propose. Don’t let her see it coming.

She will, of course, probably get what’s happening by the time you’re a sentence or two in (or as soon as you’re on one knee). But that’s okay. Try and be confident when you start your speech. Many “umms” and “aahs” will let her know something unusual is happening. This is where the tradeoff between your level of confidence and your speech comes in. If you are ultra-confident, a slightly longer proposal is okay. If nerves threaten to destroy you, try and get to the point a little sooner.

It is also noteworthy to mention to be careful when planning the proposal preparations. You don’t want to be discovered but you also don’t want her to think that you are hiding something from her.

Plan your planning carefully.

Mentioning Other People

A couple on a bench embracing and looking at a beautiful view.

Unless you have real reasons to mention others during your proposal, you don’t need to include anybody other than the two of you.

If you have a good relationship with her family, though, and her parents, in particular, it’s okay to mention that. Her family will be important to her, and if she knows you want to be a part of it, she’ll be very happy about it. If you don’t know her family or don’t get along with them, don’t mention them. Keep the experience upbeat.

To bring things down a little after the sudden and inevitable tidal wave of emotion, you can mention any of her friends who have helped you get to this point. Whether it’s by helping you choose a location or even by not making plans with her for that day, knowing you’ve even spoken to them without her will be a thrill.

Do You Need an Engagement Ring to Propose?

Ideally, you should have an engagement ring ready before proposing, but it is not a requirement.

It is important to consider that many women will be expecting an engagement ring and may be hurt if they don’t receive one. They may still say “yes,” but the moment will be much more special if they get a ring.

If you still haven’t arranged your ring yet, contact us and tell us your budget. We can take care of the rest.

Finally

We said it earlier on in this guide, but it’s so important that we’ll say it again. Don’t forget to propose.

You must ask the all-famous question, “Will you marry me?”.

If you need help with other parts of the proposal, don’t worry; we’ve written loads of articles on the topic:

Talk to an Engagement Ring Expert

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About Benjamin Khordipour

Benjamin Khordipour is one of the jewelry researchers and gemologists at Estate Diamond Jewelry. He received his official gemological degrees from both the GIA and GUBELIN. He also regularly contributes to Business Insider, Forbes, Rapaport, CNBC, and Brides Magazine. Benjamin was born in New York and joined Estate Diamond Jewelry in 2014. He is passionate about vintage jewelry and diamonds. This blog was built on his strong belief that jewelers have a responsibility to properly educate their customers. In 2019, Benjamin co-authored the book The Engagement Ring Guide for Men. His favorite vintage jewelry era is the Art Deco Era and his favorite type of stone is the Kashmir Sapphire. He also collects rare antique pins.